[Across the river is a camping spot nestled up between the trees, a small alcove on the bank perfect for one or two tents and a campfire. Small, private, and not too close to any homes. This is where the boys are currently as it starts to get late. Ain is curled up in the tent proper, the entryway rolled up so he can lay at the entrance of it and watch Elsword outside of it.
Normal behaviour. If you're them, anyway, and also if you're stupidly in love with the guy that basically taught you how to Emotions.]
Elsword...
[But maybe he should talk about some of his issues lately, while they're out here and he can breathe. Surely this is for the best. Things have been weird, almost tense but not quite there, ever since Ain started to aggress others at the meeting. Was he wrong for it? He doesn't feel like he was, but Elsword kept saying that he needed to cool it, and then Livio got on him the other day. Surely Ezell and Wolfwood are in that same boat. ...he can't imagine Add in particular cares much if Ain goes off the deep end, but who knows.
[ Elsword is, unsurprisingly, outside. It might be late, but it's not late enough that Elsword feels like it's time to go to bed. Rather, when the sun is gone, that is the best time to collect fishing bait. Crickets, beetles, worms, and other bugs are much easier to catch at night. Not because he can see better — the opposite, really — but rather because they're just in abundance this late. With crickets chirping, it's especially easy there.
He doesn't stray far enough from the tent that Ain cannot see him. In fact, Elsword even puts down a lantern nearby and collect the bugs that are drawn to it. He brings back a bunch of big, intact leaves from nearby trees when Ain calls out to him. He holds the leaves out to Ain, and puts down the jar of bugs on the ground as he has a seat. ]
Hold these for a moment. [ He doesn't have to. If Ain puts them on the ground, he won't get upset with him. ] What's on your mind?
[Ain doesn't need to be asked twice. He will hold things, sitting up properly to do so and tucking his dragon tail around his legs. That had been fun to explain. "There are baby dragons here and they're cute and will bless you!" He'd said.]
Okay.
[...talking... is hard. But Mizuki says he should do it, and Ain doesn't want Mizuki to feel like his hard work is going to waste, so.]
It's about... lately. Uh. I know I haven't been acting right... at least, that's how everyone is acting about it.
[Then again, Ain has had semi-poor luck here, but he's annoying on purpose. It's fun to him. Some people took it too seriously, and that's when Ain learnt that not everyone would act like Add or Ciel or Lu about it. Like, people actually get offended when he acts out? That's fucking crazy, man.]
[ Mizuki would not be disappointed, Ain… He loves you…
Still, Elsword is listening, even if he isn't looking at Ain. He is, instead, pulling out bugs from the jar and mushing them into a gross paste. He will take a leave from Ain and peel off some of the clear, waxy film that they have on them, and then start to wrap up his bug paste in it. Mmmh, delicious- ]
Huh? "Right"…? I mean, I would say you've been maybe a little hostile lately, but I can't say I blame you. You've been stuck here with that monster in the forest for a fairly long time, I think… [ He's still wrapping his head around the whole timeline thing going on. He doesn't really get it, but he's trying to. ] Are you worried about it?
[Gross. But nothing Ain hasn't seen before. He wouldn't be out here camping and helping by being the leaf-holder if he didn't like this. There are many tasks to do at a campsite, but he chooses this specific one.]
No. Yes. Maybe... I don't know. [Harnier did say he was a worrier all those years ago.] I've just had a rough time alone, and nothing has gone quite right since. I guess saying that is understating the problem. It feels like when I'm away from the party as a whole, nothing goes to plan, or... plans fall apart more easily, and there's no way to fix them.
[Nothing goes according to plan with their group either, but they have a bunch of leaders in the party that can account for it. With Elesis and Raven usually heading off strategy and sheer group synergy normally working in their favour, it's very rare they have an incident as bad as Berthe storming the portal in Rigomor and many people nearly dying to it. Their group simply doesn't fail. Ain, conversely, has had nothing but failures ever since showing up.]
I've just had a lot of issues personally too, I guess. Like, when Nikolaus kissed me for the first time, it was in that church I showed you, and then he pushed me back and said we couldn't right now. That upset me. Then at one point I convinced myself I'm probably second best to him. Uh... there was the issue with people calling me the town whore that made me want to curl up in bed and not leave my room for a while. Add showed up around that time and got injured, and I remember being terrified that people would see me carrying him off to get healed and start slinging names at me. Instead of taking him to the clinic like I should have, I took him to our place at the bakery because I didn't want Ms. Flower or Mr. Phoenix to see me, which is really ironic, because Ms. Flower has multiple husbands.
[Like, White Lily was not going to call Ain a whore. She just was not. Nor are a lot of people, realistically, but the damage is done.]
I don't know why I thought that about either of them. Mr. Phoenix is really nice, too. Anyway— then I ruined Vash's life by accidentally exposing him to the El, long story, but he went insane and killed Livio because of it. I couldn't even look at him without feeling bad, but I still really liked him. Really liked him. [...] Then he met Add, and I was trying too hard to help Add get along with everyone because I just wanted him to settle in here comfortably while stuck. It was stupid, I'm sure Add's taken all of that the wrong way, but part of that was me telling people to be nice to him.
And then Vash made fun of how he laughed. And I was, I guess, repulsed by it? Angry? In some capacity, I think that's the word I was looking for. Instead of saying something to him, I chickened out, and then we didn't speak much after and he disappeared and I saw him dead because of the thing in the woods.
[Ain is simply deluging right now, feel free to stop him if you've had enough, Elsword.]
And that's not even half of it, because Aventurine took me on a date and disappeared immediately after, and then sometimes I don't feel like getting out of bed because being outside is too difficult, and then I flash back to the battle with the Forest entity I told you about that got me killed and I think, "I wish I could've been more useful, because then no one would be here."
I think that's mostly it, other than being scared to lose people again. Mr. Jellyfish said there are a lot of things that are agitating me and making me feel worse, so I'm just being honest with you about why I've been so aggressive. I don't want people to cross boundaries again, but I don't know how to set them, and I guess I can't control what people do either? I don't know. It's all a lot and it makes my head hurt.
["I have depression and probably developed PTSD" is the bulk of this.]
[ Elsword is good at being a shoulder to cry on. Elsword is a very empathetic person. Elsword is many things that is good for this sort of heart-to-heart that Ain needs right now. One thing Elsword is not is, uh, focused. Rather, he is! But usually only on the first thing he's told.
For example, now he's focused on the thing about Wolfwood. Elsword is thinking things like I wonder why Nikolaus would do something like that. He probably had his reasons. Ain worries too much, why would anyone think of him so lowly? He really does worry too much about things. It's because I wasn't here to help regulate thoughts like this, right? I wonder what sorts of things I could do to make it up for all that time lost. Well, him and Nikolaus are still together, so they probably worked out all those things. But Ain is bringing it up now? Is it still something he thinks about? That's no good. Is it something he wants to bring up again? Would it be weird to talk about?
And that whole conversation in his head ends with, Wait, he's changed topics. What about not wanting to get out of bed? Huh?? Wait, I've lost track of the conversation!!!
Elsword just stares, his bug bait half finished in his hand as his brain is just making the dial up sound. He wants to tell Ain what he wants to hear, but he really cannot take in all this information at once. And he feels so bad about this. He should be able to absorb everything easily. Add would be able to. So would most of El Search Party. So then why the El is he so bad at it???
He takes in a deep breath, and… ] Ain.
[ He's trying, give him a moment. ]
What… are you trying to do to change this? I mean, it sounds like there's a lot. [ He missed most of it. ] But was your solution to just… be aggressive?
I guess I'm just trying to understand. You know, if you didn't try to stop me going into the forest, I'm sure I could stop that creature. Then I'm sure most of these problems would go away.
[Ain is trying so desperately to explain like, an entire year of backstory here... he should know better at this point, but his mouth started moving and he went off. Elsword shouldn't have to deal with it, he thinks; he should just go back to being happy-go-lucky, teehee, heehee like everyone expects from him. Shut his mouth. Stop causing problems.
Then Elsword says "I could stop the creature" and Ain suddenly forgets everything they were just talking about, leaning forward in a panic to look Elsword in the eye. Were his hands not full, he would have made a grab for Elsword's shoulders. The panic rises to his voice, speech frantic, rambly.]
You can't. Elsword, if you do that, I'm going to lose you too. The Forest cut me in half. He's not someone we have the ability to mess with right now! Nikolaus or Ezell or anyone else could tell you just how many people died when we tried to attack. Mr. Gargoyle could tell you, or Ms. Moose, or any of the other Guardians. People don't always come back from the dead here, that's why Vash and Aventurine are gone, and if I lose you like that I don't know what I'll do!
Do not go charging off into the woods. You can't solve this, not right now.
[ On one hand, he's glad that Ain isn't having his anxiety spiral anymore. On the other, however, he's upset with Elsword now. Elsword is still trying to process everything like he has some kind of rewind feature to listen to Ain again, but it's just not working. He's so frustrated with himself. He just wants to be able to fix things. Why is that so hard? ]
I didn't say I was going to... I just... [ I don't know how to help. I feel useless. How can I fix everything if I… can't do anything??? ] I don't want to worry you or anyone else, but I can't let you get hurt again, either.
[Because unfortunately Suri is like 50 Berthes in one.]
...sorry. I don't mean to yell, I'm just worried about you. I won't get hurt unless we march into the forest to confront the false god directly, okay? I'm otherwise pretty good at surviving... even the sirens in that hotel weren't that threatening despite everything.
[He doesn't want Elsword to feel so guilty, but at the same time...]
I think we should just stick together, like always. No wandering off.
...If you're not happy, though, what good is just sitting by?
[ He continues making the bait as he says this, but only because he has to focus on something else otherwise he might just pop like a balloon on the spot. He's really struggling here. If his friends are sad, then???? Why??? Not do something??? To fix? He doesn't understand. ]
...I'll be okay. I'm happy that you're here, after all. I guess I'm just... scared, maybe? Is that the word?
[Imagine going from having nothing to fear to having everything to fear? That's sort of where Ain's at, he supposes.]
Scared, and... people here aren't very nice sometimes? I could tease Add as much as I wanted, and he never really got mad, but here is different. And people from other worlds have different sensibilities, I guess, so that makes it harder to... to exist. I must be pretty bad at socializing, haha, I feel like I never quite "got" it.
This is probably a new situation for everyone. I mean, I'm sure they're scared, too. Sometimes, fear can make people lash out. I think as long as we're together, though, it doesn't matter, right? I mean....I can help if people are mean this time around, so you don't have to feel like you've gotta be hostile back.
Oh- [ He sheepishly turns his attention back to his bait. He'd kind of slowed his progress to a halt mid conversation, because it's a little hard for him to focus on multiple things at once. Sometimes. Other times, he has to be doing multiple things otherwise he cannot focus. His brain is weird. ]
Uh, of course you are. And you don't have to be sorry, you know? I'm actually really happy you're able to talk to me about stuff like this...
Haha, I'm not good at emotions, but I'm trying. I guess I was scared that you'd think different of me... maybe even negatively, if I couldn't explain what was going on in my head. I know I'm a lot different lately.
I don't really think anyone can be "good at" emotions. You don't have to worry, though. I don't think there's anything you could do to make me think negatively of you. Bar maybe, like… [ Long pause. The gears are turning. ] …Something… uh… like…
[He has SUCH feelings for you, Elsword. If only your dumb ass could read facial expressions right now bud because Ain looks a bit like someone just struck him with lightning but in a playful, fruity way. A cupid's arrow type of way. Now to be fair that arrow got him years ago but—]
Haha— [Elsword is the most attractive thing on the planet to him right now, and the man is out here literally turning bugs into paste and wrapping them in leaves with his bare-ass hands.] I know you've said it to me before, so I really should listen to you more, huh? I think I doubt myself too much.
[ Ain gets shoulder checked as a response. He doesn't say "yeah, you do," because that's mean, but he is kinda thinking it. He does wish he could help Ain out with his confidence a bit more. ]
It's okay. I'm not always right, but... I know I am about this! So... that can be one less worry you have, okay?
[He'd lay on Elsword if the man weren't currently busy... for later, he supposes. A little cuddling before bed wouldn't be unusual, would it? In this touchy-ass group? (What group, Ain, there's no group it's just you two.)]
One less worry, haha.
[He's just going to stuff all his complicated emotions into a box and never think about them again.]
So, are you gonna catch us a fish for late dinner? [Or are these baits for later...]
Haha, I can wait, no worries. I'm just glad we have time to camp out and fish again... oh, and I can introduce you to the baby Seaborn, although I think they're getting pretty big now. Haha, they're cute~.
[Don't worry Ain :) They're already blorping onto the shore to Look at you guys with their little eyes.]
[ They sure are! They are still too small to know how to sing at them, but they're doing their best. 10/10 we love you Seaborn. ]
Oh! You know about these guys? They've been sitting by me when I fish - they're very polite. They'd eat the fish heads when I discarded those, too. There's so many fascinating water-faring animals here.
Haha, yeah! Mr. Jellyfish says they can evolve to match their environment. The ones that look like this, but that fly through the air, they're also Seaborn that evolved to do so. The whole Grove was cheering for them when they started flying. I hope it made them happy~.
[A little noodle is patpatting Elsword's ankle. Patpat.]
They're cute. [Ciel would like them, Ain thinks bitterly, before his brain course-corrects onto "no it's okay you can make it without the others until they show up it's fine".] And they like music~.
Haha, well... Mr. Jellyfish told me they liked it, but I came out here one day and tried anyway because I was curious. They'll wiggle back and forth, like they're dancing.
[Sheepish now... despite the fact everyone knows he's musically-inclined... there are so many strange emotions all the time.]
[ Ain is absolutely getting playfully nudged with Elsword's shoulder. His hands are still full of bug gunk and the waxy leaves, but she does his best to gesture to the little not-fishies. ]
Well they're here, right? You should sing them a song now~
[Ain chokes on a laugh as his shoulder is bumped again, leaning back against Elsword playfully before he sits back up, proper posture and all. Now he's been put on the spot. He's not sure what he should sing; it's not like he hasn't been memorizing every folk song of every place they walked through since the two of them met, at first because he couldn't get the songs out of his head no matter how hard he tried and then later because those places all had memories he wanted to hold onto.]
You're really putting me on the spot, you know... I didn't bring my guitar with me.
[Surely this is going to prompt even more questions, such as "you have a guitar?" and yeah, he has one in his room, he's not getting up to go get it though. He guesses he'll have to sing a cappella, a thing that people are usually trained for and good at. Ain wonders if he's good at it. (He's fine. Logically, he's fine, but when your crush asks you to sing you have to get a little nervous about it.)
He thinks briefly, maybe thirty seconds, before he settles on a song. Nerves aren't something he thinks he'll ever get used to, but at least he doesn't make either of them wait too long.
Of course, the slightly-less-baby Seaborn are wiggling as Ain gets to the chorus, which makes him sort of snortlaugh through it. Oops. It's fine, he'll recover and get through the full song.]
And you play guitar? What else have you been hiding from me, huh?
[ He's teasing, of course. He doesn't actually expect Ain to have not picked up things while he's been here. Like tailoring, too, apparently? It's so strange. He guesses they haven't really had any time to explore their hobbies while exploring Elrios, huh…? He wonders if anyone back home would be happier if they were able to discover themselves outside of the group…
It's not a very fun thought.
He doesn't linger on it too long, though. Mostly, he seems a bit charmed by Ain's song - in a very shocked sort of sense. Not that he thought Ain would sound bad or anything, but it's just so, y'know, serene! Nice. Wow...........
Once he's finished, Elsword straightens himself a bit. ]
[The one time Aisha taught him to sew for the Harmony Festival really took off in his brain. Ain thinks that when they've finished saving the world, that they can all get a house together and do other things. Calm things. Undoubtedly, Add will invent the internet and damn the entire world, but that's okay because Ain won't understand the internet either way.
He laughs as his song ends. There's a full Seaborn in his lap now, and now that he's about done with handling leaves, he can pet it like a dog. Dachie would be jealous.]
Am I? That means a lot to me... I'd be sad if you didn't like it. [Ugh... he wants to sing Elsword songs all the time now. Horrible. He's used to doing it for the others, so he hopes the knight never gets tired of it, because it sure will happen a lot.] I remember a lot of songs from when we travelled together. Mostly war songs.
[His face scrunches.]
Velder had a lot. But that doesn't really fit our little camp-out, does it? Haha.
dec 28th; happy birthday baby boy, i take no responsibility for the freak way ain will probably act
[It's Elsword Day! And technically Rena and Aisha day too but they're not here so it's Elsword Day!! Ain and his constant quest for baking has managed to achieve making a kind of mid birthday cake — the strawberry filling is a bit uneven and the whole cake is sort of dry, but it's the best he could do after months and months of practice. It's edible! He didn't mix up the salt and sugar this time!!
So Elsword, up in their room, will be receiving a slice of kinda mid strawberry cake, as well as a handmade scarf that Ain drapes loosely around the other man's shoulders while he's eating. It's winter and it's cold out, and he knows Elsword is likely to wander out to go icefishing after this.
For now, though... Ain is also just in the redhead's space. Clinging to him, dragon tail over his legs as he sits behind him on the bed (because food in bed is always a great idea), head pressed to the back of his neck... don't worry about it he's clingy.]
[Yeah... don't worry, Ain is in that same boat, so until people arrive, he hopes he can do this much to soothe the loneliness. Birthdays are supposed to be happy! And that's why Ain made a pretty mid cake.]
Of course~. Because I love you~. How does it feel to turn the human age of old?
[Nineteen btw]
Do you like the scarf? I worked hard on it... I thought it would look cute while you're icefishing.
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august before fae dreams // the boys are camping, ain is depressed-
Normal behaviour. If you're them, anyway, and also if you're stupidly in love with the guy that basically taught you how to Emotions.]
Elsword...
[But maybe he should talk about some of his issues lately, while they're out here and he can breathe. Surely this is for the best. Things have been weird, almost tense but not quite there, ever since Ain started to aggress others at the meeting. Was he wrong for it? He doesn't feel like he was, but Elsword kept saying that he needed to cool it, and then Livio got on him the other day. Surely Ezell and Wolfwood are in that same boat. ...he can't imagine Add in particular cares much if Ain goes off the deep end, but who knows.
Ain sighs.]
...can I tell you something?
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He doesn't stray far enough from the tent that Ain cannot see him. In fact, Elsword even puts down a lantern nearby and collect the bugs that are drawn to it. He brings back a bunch of big, intact leaves from nearby trees when Ain calls out to him. He holds the leaves out to Ain, and puts down the jar of bugs on the ground as he has a seat. ]
Hold these for a moment. [ He doesn't have to. If Ain puts them on the ground, he won't get upset with him. ] What's on your mind?
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Okay.
[...talking... is hard. But Mizuki says he should do it, and Ain doesn't want Mizuki to feel like his hard work is going to waste, so.]
It's about... lately. Uh. I know I haven't been acting right... at least, that's how everyone is acting about it.
[Then again, Ain has had semi-poor luck here, but he's annoying on purpose. It's fun to him. Some people took it too seriously, and that's when Ain learnt that not everyone would act like Add or Ciel or Lu about it. Like, people actually get offended when he acts out? That's fucking crazy, man.]
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Still, Elsword is listening, even if he isn't looking at Ain. He is, instead, pulling out bugs from the jar and mushing them into a gross paste. He will take a leave from Ain and peel off some of the clear, waxy film that they have on them, and then start to wrap up his bug paste in it. Mmmh, delicious- ]
Huh? "Right"…? I mean, I would say you've been maybe a little hostile lately, but I can't say I blame you. You've been stuck here with that monster in the forest for a fairly long time, I think… [ He's still wrapping his head around the whole timeline thing going on. He doesn't really get it, but he's trying to. ] Are you worried about it?
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No. Yes. Maybe... I don't know. [Harnier did say he was a worrier all those years ago.] I've just had a rough time alone, and nothing has gone quite right since. I guess saying that is understating the problem. It feels like when I'm away from the party as a whole, nothing goes to plan, or... plans fall apart more easily, and there's no way to fix them.
[Nothing goes according to plan with their group either, but they have a bunch of leaders in the party that can account for it. With Elesis and Raven usually heading off strategy and sheer group synergy normally working in their favour, it's very rare they have an incident as bad as Berthe storming the portal in Rigomor and many people nearly dying to it. Their group simply doesn't fail. Ain, conversely, has had nothing but failures ever since showing up.]
I've just had a lot of issues personally too, I guess. Like, when Nikolaus kissed me for the first time, it was in that church I showed you, and then he pushed me back and said we couldn't right now. That upset me. Then at one point I convinced myself I'm probably second best to him. Uh... there was the issue with people calling me the town whore that made me want to curl up in bed and not leave my room for a while. Add showed up around that time and got injured, and I remember being terrified that people would see me carrying him off to get healed and start slinging names at me. Instead of taking him to the clinic like I should have, I took him to our place at the bakery because I didn't want Ms. Flower or Mr. Phoenix to see me, which is really ironic, because Ms. Flower has multiple husbands.
[Like, White Lily was not going to call Ain a whore. She just was not. Nor are a lot of people, realistically, but the damage is done.]
I don't know why I thought that about either of them. Mr. Phoenix is really nice, too. Anyway— then I ruined Vash's life by accidentally exposing him to the El, long story, but he went insane and killed Livio because of it. I couldn't even look at him without feeling bad, but I still really liked him. Really liked him. [...] Then he met Add, and I was trying too hard to help Add get along with everyone because I just wanted him to settle in here comfortably while stuck. It was stupid, I'm sure Add's taken all of that the wrong way, but part of that was me telling people to be nice to him.
And then Vash made fun of how he laughed. And I was, I guess, repulsed by it? Angry? In some capacity, I think that's the word I was looking for. Instead of saying something to him, I chickened out, and then we didn't speak much after and he disappeared and I saw him dead because of the thing in the woods.
[Ain is simply deluging right now, feel free to stop him if you've had enough, Elsword.]
And that's not even half of it, because Aventurine took me on a date and disappeared immediately after, and then sometimes I don't feel like getting out of bed because being outside is too difficult, and then I flash back to the battle with the Forest entity I told you about that got me killed and I think, "I wish I could've been more useful, because then no one would be here."
I think that's mostly it, other than being scared to lose people again. Mr. Jellyfish said there are a lot of things that are agitating me and making me feel worse, so I'm just being honest with you about why I've been so aggressive. I don't want people to cross boundaries again, but I don't know how to set them, and I guess I can't control what people do either? I don't know. It's all a lot and it makes my head hurt.
["I have depression and probably developed PTSD" is the bulk of this.]
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For example, now he's focused on the thing about Wolfwood. Elsword is thinking things like I wonder why Nikolaus would do something like that. He probably had his reasons. Ain worries too much, why would anyone think of him so lowly? He really does worry too much about things. It's because I wasn't here to help regulate thoughts like this, right? I wonder what sorts of things I could do to make it up for all that time lost. Well, him and Nikolaus are still together, so they probably worked out all those things. But Ain is bringing it up now? Is it still something he thinks about? That's no good. Is it something he wants to bring up again? Would it be weird to talk about?
And that whole conversation in his head ends with, Wait, he's changed topics. What about not wanting to get out of bed? Huh?? Wait, I've lost track of the conversation!!!
Elsword just stares, his bug bait half finished in his hand as his brain is just making the dial up sound. He wants to tell Ain what he wants to hear, but he really cannot take in all this information at once. And he feels so bad about this. He should be able to absorb everything easily. Add would be able to. So would most of El Search Party. So then why the El is he so bad at it???
He takes in a deep breath, and… ] Ain.
[ He's trying, give him a moment. ]
What… are you trying to do to change this? I mean, it sounds like there's a lot. [ He missed most of it. ] But was your solution to just… be aggressive?
I guess I'm just trying to understand. You know, if you didn't try to stop me going into the forest, I'm sure I could stop that creature. Then I'm sure most of these problems would go away.
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Then Elsword says "I could stop the creature" and Ain suddenly forgets everything they were just talking about, leaning forward in a panic to look Elsword in the eye. Were his hands not full, he would have made a grab for Elsword's shoulders. The panic rises to his voice, speech frantic, rambly.]
You can't. Elsword, if you do that, I'm going to lose you too. The Forest cut me in half. He's not someone we have the ability to mess with right now! Nikolaus or Ezell or anyone else could tell you just how many people died when we tried to attack. Mr. Gargoyle could tell you, or Ms. Moose, or any of the other Guardians. People don't always come back from the dead here, that's why Vash and Aventurine are gone, and if I lose you like that I don't know what I'll do!
Do not go charging off into the woods. You can't solve this, not right now.
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I didn't say I was going to... I just... [ I don't know how to help. I feel useless. How can I fix everything if I… can't do anything??? ] I don't want to worry you or anyone else, but I can't let you get hurt again, either.
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...sorry. I don't mean to yell, I'm just worried about you. I won't get hurt unless we march into the forest to confront the false god directly, okay? I'm otherwise pretty good at surviving... even the sirens in that hotel weren't that threatening despite everything.
[He doesn't want Elsword to feel so guilty, but at the same time...]
I think we should just stick together, like always. No wandering off.
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[ He continues making the bait as he says this, but only because he has to focus on something else otherwise he might just pop like a balloon on the spot. He's really struggling here. If his friends are sad, then???? Why??? Not do something??? To fix? He doesn't understand. ]
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[Imagine going from having nothing to fear to having everything to fear? That's sort of where Ain's at, he supposes.]
Scared, and... people here aren't very nice sometimes? I could tease Add as much as I wanted, and he never really got mad, but here is different. And people from other worlds have different sensibilities, I guess, so that makes it harder to... to exist. I must be pretty bad at socializing, haha, I feel like I never quite "got" it.
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[He will not, but Ain sure is good at putting things in a little compartmentalization box and :) ignoring all of it :)]
How's your bait-making going? Am I a good leaf-holder? Haha~.
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Uh, of course you are. And you don't have to be sorry, you know? I'm actually really happy you're able to talk to me about stuff like this...
[ And he's back to making more waxy bug bait. ]
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[Sighs...]
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[ … ]
I can't think of anything, actually.
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Oh, that's good~. So I have nothing to be scared of, then? Haha~.
[He'd put his chin in his hands if he wasn't still being the designated leaf-holder.]
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[ He clears his throat and sits up just a little taller. ]
When you're with me, you have nothing to be scared of!!
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Haha— [Elsword is the most attractive thing on the planet to him right now, and the man is out here literally turning bugs into paste and wrapping them in leaves with his bare-ass hands.] I know you've said it to me before, so I really should listen to you more, huh? I think I doubt myself too much.
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It's okay. I'm not always right, but... I know I am about this! So... that can be one less worry you have, okay?
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One less worry, haha.
[He's just going to stuff all his complicated emotions into a box and never think about them again.]
So, are you gonna catch us a fish for late dinner? [Or are these baits for later...]
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You're okay with that, right? I didn't keep you waiting? These bait will last us a while so having a surplus will be good.
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[Don't worry Ain :) They're already blorping onto the shore to Look at you guys with their little eyes.]
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Oh! You know about these guys? They've been sitting by me when I fish - they're very polite. They'd eat the fish heads when I discarded those, too. There's so many fascinating water-faring animals here.
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[A little noodle is patpatting Elsword's ankle. Patpat.]
They're cute. [Ciel would like them, Ain thinks bitterly, before his brain course-corrects onto "no it's okay you can make it without the others until they show up it's fine".] And they like music~.
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[Sheepish now... despite the fact everyone knows he's musically-inclined... there are so many strange emotions all the time.]
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Well they're here, right? You should sing them a song now~
[ Translation: I wanna hear you sing too! ]
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You're really putting me on the spot, you know... I didn't bring my guitar with me.
[Surely this is going to prompt even more questions, such as "you have a guitar?" and yeah, he has one in his room, he's not getting up to go get it though. He guesses he'll have to sing a cappella, a thing that people are usually trained for and good at. Ain wonders if he's good at it. (He's fine. Logically, he's fine, but when your crush asks you to sing you have to get a little nervous about it.)
He thinks briefly, maybe thirty seconds, before he settles on a song. Nerves aren't something he thinks he'll ever get used to, but at least he doesn't make either of them wait too long.
Of course, the slightly-less-baby Seaborn are wiggling as Ain gets to the chorus, which makes him sort of snortlaugh through it. Oops. It's fine, he'll recover and get through the full song.]
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[ He's teasing, of course. He doesn't actually expect Ain to have not picked up things while he's been here. Like tailoring, too, apparently? It's so strange. He guesses they haven't really had any time to explore their hobbies while exploring Elrios, huh…? He wonders if anyone back home would be happier if they were able to discover themselves outside of the group…
It's not a very fun thought.
He doesn't linger on it too long, though. Mostly, he seems a bit charmed by Ain's song - in a very shocked sort of sense. Not that he thought Ain would sound bad or anything, but it's just so, y'know, serene! Nice. Wow...........
Once he's finished, Elsword straightens himself a bit. ]
You're really good at that, Ain.
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He laughs as his song ends. There's a full Seaborn in his lap now, and now that he's about done with handling leaves, he can pet it like a dog. Dachie would be jealous.]
Am I? That means a lot to me... I'd be sad if you didn't like it. [Ugh... he wants to sing Elsword songs all the time now. Horrible. He's used to doing it for the others, so he hopes the knight never gets tired of it, because it sure will happen a lot.] I remember a lot of songs from when we travelled together. Mostly war songs.
[His face scrunches.]
Velder had a lot. But that doesn't really fit our little camp-out, does it? Haha.
dec 28th; happy birthday baby boy, i take no responsibility for the freak way ain will probably act
So Elsword, up in their room, will be receiving a slice of kinda mid strawberry cake, as well as a handmade scarf that Ain drapes loosely around the other man's shoulders while he's eating. It's winter and it's cold out, and he knows Elsword is likely to wander out to go icefishing after this.
For now, though... Ain is also just in the redhead's space. Clinging to him, dragon tail over his legs as he sits behind him on the bed (because food in bed is always a great idea), head pressed to the back of his neck... don't worry about it he's clingy.]
Happy Birthday~.
opens my arms
...
Oh! Right!!! Birthday! He has that, it's still happening, even though he's not home with his friends and his sister and
He's fine he's good, he can smile through this sudden realization. ]
Ain! You did all this for me??
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Of course~. Because I love you~. How does it feel to turn the human age of old?
[Nineteen btw]
Do you like the scarf? I worked hard on it... I thought it would look cute while you're icefishing.